My Friend, Danielle

It has been a long time since I have blogged. Seemed like there wasn’t much to say. Today is different. Our family recently made the decision to move to Phoenix after the death of a beloved family member. We planned, we hoped, we prayed and up until the very last minute, we believed that is where we were suppose to be. And then, everything changed.

I began to feel sick every time I thought about the move. I didn’t feel like it was particularly because all my family is here in Central California, like it had been before. I was just sick to my stomach about it. I finally told my husband about a week before the big move how I was feeling. Although he felt like my timing was horrible, he agreed to stay put. We didn’t know why, but we both agreed.

During this time I finally had my dental surgery completed. It had been a long journey (which I will blog on later). I felt like no one really understood how desperate I was. Friends and family were supportive, but you don’t really get it unless you have lost the ability to eat… and smile…… or if you have been in a hopeless situation, or what seemed to be…. Like my friend, Danielle.

I met Danielle through Mary Kay. After a short stint selling MK in Arizona I re-signed after coming back to California just for personal use. Danielle was my (soon to be ) Director in Qualification. She wasn’t pushy, but she encouraged me to sell because its fun. I didn’t want to. At the time, I couldn’t see why this MK lady wouldn’t leave well enough alone. Inviting me to meetings,asking me to participate in fun stuff, being friendly… I mean really, how dare she?? LOL Truth is, I just was an unhappy person at the time.

Later Danielle popped back into my life. I was in the midst of some serious changes in our family life and this time instead of pushing her away, I embraced the company. We chatted here and there on the phone mostly about my dental situation. She is a good listener. She inspired me. You see, in the time we had lost touch Danielle found out she had breast cancer. It was only on one side but they treated aggressively with a double mastectomy as well as chemo….. and prayer. I know those prayer ladies at church were praying like crazy over her… and she was healed. She was in remission for close to 2 years. Praise God. Danielle used her experience to give encouragement. She gave all the glory to God, because she knows it was by His grace that she was saved. I do not know how I would have made it through my personal journey without Danielle’s words of encouragement.

In the beginning of August Danielle found out that she has cancer once again. This time in her liver. She and her family have decided to take a different route this time and try to treat homeopathically. She found an oncologist who practices homeopthy in Reno. Her treatment is not covered by insurance. There is great success with this method and her family will have to pay out of pocket for all treatment.

I was facebooking tonight as my husband and son hang in the living room and I saw that a local Realtor, and friend of Danielle’s, has organized a fundraising campaign for her treatment. THIS IS WHY WE STAYED. We stayed because this is our little town, where people take care of eachother. Maybe God knew I could help. Maybe God knew Danielle and I needed eachother in our lives. Funny how God brings people into your life, even when you push them away like I did.

So here is what I would love to see happen. In addition to a fundraiser Bunco night, Tami Winbery has set up a fund for cash donations for Danielle’s treatment. I would love to see every person who runs across this blog and every person who gets the email I am about to send out and every person who ever had a friend they just knew was placed in their life for a reason; to do something…ANYTHING they can, to contribute to Danielle’s quest to KICK CANCER’S BUTT!

https://teamdanielle.wordpress.com/fundraising-event-info-bunco-party/

This is the site that Tami set up for Danielle. Please visit, donate (time and or money) repost on your facebook, send out an email to everyone you know. Danielle…. she would do this for anyone. Even someone she didn’t know.

Thanks for reading, now let’s go help Danielle do  some cancer stomping!

Two Fish and Five Loaves of Bread- Total Rant

Two Fish and Five Loaves of bread………. It’s the name of my blog and it is suppose to stand for hope among the hopeless. Faith, when there seems to be nothing to have faith in. It’s a hard road to walk.

Jesus fed thousands of men with two fish and five loaves of bread. What hope that must have given them. Someone to have faith in, in a time of famon and fatigue.

The title of my blog also doubles on what my husband has to do every day. He is our provider. He makes the money that supports our family. Most times it feels as though we are feeding thousands with two fish and five loaves of bread. …. and God has always provided.

My job, as a wife and a mother, in in  my subtitle “filling the hearts and bellies of my family of six”. I stay home, cook, clean, drive to practices, go to games, do laundry, and then cook and clean some more…. and I love every minute of it. (even when my kids are driving me nuts.)

Kyle is a partial (and by partial, I mean very slim percentage) owner of a couple of retail stores. He has worked like a dog for the last 2 years to get the locations up and running. He is the workhorse of the partnership. His partner is the money. Today we found out that our tax bill is over 5 thousand dollars.

Now, if we were profiting at all from the business, we might in fact have 5 grand to send to the IRS, but we aren’t and we don’t. ….. and honestly I feel jipped. I feel Kyle is getting jipped. He works 10-12 hour days, sometimes 7 days a week. He sacrifices personally by not having time with his family. When he is home he is so exhausted that he just needs to veg out. (I totally understand that)…. and what is he gaining from all this?  A big fat tax bill. For those of you thinking success comes from sacrifice….. I guess you are right, but shouldnt you weigh the personal sacrifice with the financial gain to see if it is all worth it? The truth is; none of this is going to be worth it if our children are grown before the businesses begin to benefit us financially. All we have then is money and adult children who feel rooked out of a great childhood with their Dad. As for today… we are barely making ends meet.

Before I end this rant:

What kind of country do we live in that a self staring man who provides new jobs to people who are unemployed in a bad economy gets screwed by the government when it is time to file for taxes? Let me put this into perspective for you. We have 4 (FOUR) children under 13 years old. Tax credit on those children are 3600 each. After that, after other credits, our tax liabilities are still 5000.00.  Being self-employed does not pay. Being on welfare might. No wonder our country is billions of dollars in the red.

UPDATE Smoking Cessation

WOW, this is an actual Phillip Morris Print ad.

So, to update you all on my quest to quit smoking, here is where I stand:

I am down to about 10-12 cigarettes per day.

I am still atempting to ween off of them to avoid withdraw symptoms, but see the benefit of the sheer 72 hours of hell when you go cold turkey, because that may be the only thing that works.

The following is a convesation I had with a long time mentor and friend. I am posting it because I know that if anyone else who is searching for the way to quit reads it, they will see that they really have to look inside themselves to find out the real reason they depend so much on their cigarettes…. because everyone has a reason.

Betsi Procter January 28 at 9:40pm Report

Hey, just wanted to know how the stopping smoking is going. It’s a tough battle but so worth it in the end. I’ll have my one year anniversary on 3/9. Best and hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Jennifer Lewis Kelley January 28 at 9:42pm

Its going. I am down to between 8 and 12 a day. Taking it slow. I know I can ween off of these. I know its worth it, I am working at it, keep me in your prayers:)

Betsi Procter January 28 at 9:45pm Report

Always!! I did that for a long time, I had a problem with getting down to 5 for a couple of days then up, up, up to 12-15. I sounded like a 90 yr old coughing all the time, it was embarassing. I had to do it cold turkey, it really wasn’t that hard, it’s all about learning to live without them. I do love the smell still so we can have coffee and I’ll smell your cigarette LOL!

Jennifer Lewis Kelley January 29 at 9:12am

lol, I dont smoke in social situations. Long story short, when we lived in AZ I developed severe social anxiety. When we came back to California it was very difficult for me to learn how to make friends and be around other people, but when I did, I realized I enjoyed it more without smoking because no one else smoked and I didnt want to be the stinky one in the group, lol.
My husband quit a couple of years ago. Cold Tukey. I was “waiting” too see if it actually worked for him. You know what they say, excuses are like _______, everyones got one….. It was my excuse to hang on to my smokes just a little longer. They really were by best friend in AZ. I had no one there. Since we have moved back I have learned that the more social I am , the less I need them….
Eventually I will have to just commit to loving people more than my cigarettes….. Im getting there.

Betsi Procter January 29 at 9:16am Report

Well, I can get my “smell fix” anywhere, anytime, smoke is everywhere. I completely understand kiddo, I smoked for 40 years. ugh….. Can you say stupid girl LOL. I’m proud of myself and when you do it, you will be proud of yourself too, it makes you feel like you can do anything.  Love ya

 

Having an addiction to cigarettes is  harder to break than a non-smoker might think. It is a physical, chemical and emotional addiction that is more addictive than heroine.

If anyone else has fallen upon my blog and are trying to quit, need a little suport, or someone who understands… leave a comment. Let’s get a conversation going, lets support eachother in this battle to end the addiction. And, dont forget to pray. I truely believe that We can’t do this alone, but we CAN do this with GOD and eachother. 

Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Sneeky Lemon Treat

Last night Kyle and I needed a sweet snack. I had a few box mixes in the pantry. Lemon is Kyle’s favorite, so we went with this.

Start by mixing the ingredient instructions on the back of your box.

Spray your cupcake pan liberally, fill 2/3 full and bake at 350 for 18 minutes.

Let cool for just a minute and pry cupcakes out with your super scraper. I like doing it this way because the silicone is really flexible and doesn’t damage the spongie cupcake.

While your first batch of cupcakes are cooling and your second batch of cupcakes are in the oven, get your milk, powder sugar and vanilla.

Glaze: Start with 1 heaping cup of powder sugar.

Add 1 Tablespoon of vanilla to your powder sugar. (YES Tablespoon)


Then add your milk a little bit at a time until you get your desired consistency.



This was actually a little brown for what I was going for, so I added more powder sugar and milk. I am kind of an experimental baker. So sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

Then dip your semi-warm cupcakes into the glaze. I let them set for a few seconds and then ladled some more glaze on them for extra yumminess.

Wa-la! Finished!!

Still warm and yummy, and great for a midnight snack or a special treat for a friend!

You could add some lemon zest or lemon juice for extra flavor and texture, but we just wanted a quick sweet snack.

Leap Frog Letter Factory

We recently starting homeschooling out Kindergartener, Nick.

It was brought to our attention that he didn’t yet have letter recognition down and was struggling with letter sounds.

My good friend Leia, who is an amazing homeschooling Mom of FIVE, gave me some pointers and said I should purchase this video.

I was sort of hesitant. I figured it was going to be another Dora the Explorer kind of deal, but it wasnt at all.

My little ones ages 2,4 and 6 were all instantly engaged in the movie which does have a story line, but is 100% focused on Letter recognition and sounds.

It was only $10.00 at Target! AWESOME and so worth the purchase!

It also came in a 3 pack with 2 other learning videos.

This is an awesome purchase for the homeschooling family and is relevant to the child even as early as 2 years old!

Wives, submit.

“NO!”… was his answer.

“We can not justify spending 650.00 more per month for rent”

I replied, “Doesn’t it matter what I want?”

He said, “Let me remind you…. ‘I would rather live in a crack shack on the Avenue than to stay in Arizona one more second’”

I said that…..

I did.

Stupid Stupid Stupid…………

Enraged with anger that 6 years later I am still reminded of that (from more than one person) …. I blew up.

Boy did I blow up.

You don’t need details, except that I was wrong.

I wasn’t mad that he doesn’t want to move, or to spend the extra money, or that I have to continue living in this house…… It was this:

“No.”

In the Bible there is a verse that until it was explained to me, kinda irritated me.

“Wives, Submit to your husbands”

The whole verse is this:

“Wives, submit to your husband as you would submit to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22

Later in the Chapter, it says this:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing^[a] her by the washing with water through the word,

²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰ for we are members of his body.

³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”^[b]

³² This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Our Marriage didn’t always work like this. It wasn’t until we made a choice. I chose to submit to him and he chose to put Me first.

I guess the point to all of this is that last night was a reality check on Contentment. I am so blessed with a husband to works so hard for our family, who makes wise choices, and who respects me. He provides a home and food and love and guidance for our family.

Where we live doesn’t matter. What matters is that we have God, Eachother and our children.

Two things you should remember after reading this:

Never ever ever say anything you don’t want to be reminded of, even years down the line.

Be greatful for your blessings, because it could be worse.  

Making a choice to be content,

Jennifer

Wishing and hoping and praying…..

Being content is the hardest of my new year’s resolutions. Even more so than smoking cessation.  I have struggled with the home we live in for most of the 2 years we have lived here. The owners “remodeled” it due to mold infestation prior to our occupancy, but to be honest, the workmanship was shotty at best.

Granted, the house is really old. I am guessing it was originally built in the 30′s. The concrete slab is literally cracked all the way through horizontally from front to back and side to side. I am certain if we had a massive earth quake we would fall right off the foundation. In addition to that, my flooring wont stay down… probably because of the concrete breakage underneath. To make a long story short….. everything is breaking. It makes keeping the house clean a challenge to say the least. It is also VERY small and let me tell you, if you have a family of 6 living in 1000 square feet, with one bathroom, there is literally nowhere to hide. No peace and quiet. Nothing is sacred… if you know what I mean.

I keep a close eye on the rental market around here, just in case the right place, at the right price, pops up.

I may have found one. It is everything we need. (Yes, Need) If it was everything we wanted, it would be on a larger lot, but other than that, it suits our every need.

Back to my new years resolution of contentment: Even though this house is more than we are paying now, I feel like it is justified by need. I could stay right here in this house and try really hard not to complain about it, and I will if that is what God has for us, but Man Oh Man… This house is just perfect. I was able to negotiate the asking price down by 400.00 to make it within our price range. These are the things that make a huge difference vs. the home we currently occupy:

Functional, not to mention, completely remodeled kitchen. Complete with a Dishwasher and stainless steel appliances. While this may not seem like a need, if you have ever tried to function for a family of 6 in a galley kitchen, you get it. If not, you don’t.

Wood Floors (Carpet is NEVER a good thing with small children.)

Washer and dryer inside the main part of the house. We now have to haul all our laundry out to the garage, about 30 feet from the back door to wash.

A room for everyone! No one would have to share their room.

A fireplace (coooozy!)

These things make a huge difference for me, the person to has to make sure the house runs smoothly. So, is this me not being content? Or is this me, needing a better situation to better service my home and family?

And now it is time to pray.

If we have to stay put, I will be content and be a good stuart of my home (to the best of my ability), but Lord willing…… I would love to have this home.

Thanks for reading. I’ll keep you posted:)